Monday, December 28, 2009

Merry Christmas and a Happy Anniversary

It was a festive spirit that embodied my being aw we celebrate the joyful Christmas and our anniversary. Unlike last year, I completed the 9 misas de gallo, but now we only attended on the 9th morning. The theme centered on the beacon of light brought by the birth of our Savior. Emmanuel. The homily was meaningfully expressed by the presider centering on our inner peace seeking for the light. For the record, it did not put me into sleep the fact that it was early morning. Instead, it established a trance that supported my faith to experience the inner peace once more. As the light portrays its magnificence in the pangs of darkness and sorrow, I decided and hoped to think outside the box and capture the deepest blessings that I am enjoying-grace. The words that healed my past, strengthened my will power and uplifted my soul have molded me to be strong in life. Grace indeed summarized my limited faculty and the incomprehensibility of the Father. The pride, diligence and hard work that have enthroned my self into the selfish side of the world have been outshone by the immense and immeasurable grace that/Who touched my heart.

This Christmas is an inevitable realization that within me, is also an access to the Light and to the Prince of Peace. With this grace, it ignited my inner peace to see the shining light and recognize my blessings.

The challenging and fruitful experiences we shared make this "remembering season" remarkable but the time we shared and moments we spent with Him this season make it special. Very special.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

i just don't want to be lonely

I don't mind when you say that you're going away
I just don't wanna be lonely,
And I don't care if you share only moments a day,
I just don't wanna be lonely,

I'd rather be loved and needed; depended
on to give a love I can't give

When you're gone, when you're gone, I just
don't want to be lonely. I'd
just rather be loved.

I don't mind when the time sets the sun to the moon,
I just don't wanna be lonely,
Let the stairs find you there, at the end of the room,
I just don't wanna be lonely,

The first line highlights the flickering ego of persona. He doesn’t care about his partner leaving because he just doesn’t want to be lonely. Immature as it may seems but this reminds me of a topic which was discussed by “Paul & Chery” in a radio program - W rock: (note: not really the exact words..but same thought)

Paul – Ang problema sa inyo mga babae , you always expect from us men things that are humanly impossible- always texting kahit may ginagawa, always keeping in touch, saying “I love you” always, ..bla-bla..
(Cherry interrupts: Paul, saying I love you is the least you could do..)
Paul (continues) – and the time you want to stop the relationship, you want to go away, you expect us to be vocal at gustong marining ang mga katagang: please don’t go, I need you, ..I don’t want this to end, I love you, I need you (again)..bla, bla….just to feel how important you are. Kailangan pa bang magpakaawa para paniwalaan?
Cherry: Xempre, gusto naming malaman kung gaano pa kami kaimportante..
Paul: eh, di nga lahat kami kayang banggitin ang mga katagang iyon..not all men are vocal.

Secluding the feeling of loneliness from other vibrant feelings within us is somehow difficult. It depends on the emotional capability of individual to handle feelings of insecurity and depression. We would definitely seek comfort and emptiness of negative thoughts to vent out these clutters.

Most often, we underestimate the power to speak out. We have been preoccupied by some opinions of others. The beauty of expression lies also in the splendid moment of saying the words like, “I just don’t wanna be lonely.”

Speaking out your feelings is a common thing that most likely would achieve uncommon results especially in a relationship. We ask it by saying it and then acknowledge when we feel it. Selfish as it may sound, the “just don’t wanna be lonely” thing, can be supplied by an unselfish act of love which straightens the crooked way of bare romance.

As others would say, that happiness is subjective, I would also say that it is also a choice. The loneliness we get rid off, doesn’t always have to be tied with the limited love that the other party could or could not give. But the power of words comes into play if we use it effectively in communicating and expressing our feelings.